Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Turmoil...

V says that I don't operate maliciously
Rika says that its easy to love me
Ayesh says I'm lovely...
So why am I questioning?
Struggling?
Am I a good person?
Does my ease with opinions and seemingly made up mind
Make me hurtful, unkind?
Is my heart blacker than I would like?
The type you want to keep your heart away from and your soul clear of?
Right now I just don't know
Stomachs knots up and I feel sick
I just don't know...
Things once deemed as positive now haunt me
Suffocating my certainty
Is it difficult to taste and then swallow when interacting?
I'm really really struggling
All my apparent positives feel like negatives and I wonder whether you find me ugly outside and in
Shit
Just
Don't
Know


Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

1 comment:

SOC said...

VR&A are right. "So why am I questioning?" cos you chose to feel not think. (not that that is wrong but it does have consequences) i need to talk to you off of the public line to answer the rest of your questions.