Tuesday, June 15, 2010

SHIT

Today...
I learned just how wound up I am.
Just label me 'MoodswingsRUs' and give me a chocolate bar and a hug.
Stress and me are simply not meant to be.
Have contracted tourettes suddenly
Struggling to resist the urge shout words that I do not normally use
The eff word.
The bee word.
Even the cee word.
Trying not to scream or become terribly unreasonable.
ARGGGGHHHHHH
No body understands and it feels like no one cares enough to be patient enough to help heal me.
I just want someone to let me offload.
Let me shout, cry and laugh.
Let me be negative and defeatist.
To still hold me while I struggle to push them away.
Rub my back while I contradict my contradictions.
Because if they knew me at all they would understand that it is a process that I go through.
Negativity rarely defeats me but for as long as it stays stuck inside of me, it will fester and grow.
Spreading like gangrene.
Just getting worse.
I need to let it out...
SHIT.

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