Monday, September 13, 2010

Old movies and junk food.

So much to do.
Clutter fills my thoughts and my space but I have lost the motivation to get my house in order.
For now.
I want to eat chocolate and ice cream, washed down with cherry coke and time.
Allow the sweet bubbles to wash away the grey as I watch old indie movies commenting on how gritty they feel.
I survey my surroundings and feel swamped.
My mind is a land mine of half finished thoughts and inconsequential decisions.
Finding constant distractions and panicking when I don't get shit done.
Avoiding the gaze of responsibility catching up with me.
I feel unreliable.
All talk and no follow through.
I am a muddle.
Slow motion forcibly takes control until I am stuck.
Sitting still, breathing is barely audible.
Temporary paralysis.
Too much.
Cold to touch.
I've had enough.
Losing the will to get it right.
So much to do, so little time.
Numb from the constant effort.
Wanna say "fuck you" to those beady eyes of judgement because they probably wouldn't last a day on my shoes.
For now, lemme fill my mouth and stomach with all the things that should remain on the outside and start numbly at someone else's story.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

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