So, something that was said to me this week has me thinking...
When does the line of preference tip over into the land of fetish?
For those of you that have seen what I look like, you will already know that I am a plus size. Some may even secretly think me fat or some may just see “curvy”, either way, it is what I am.
Now obviously, a man who is appreciative of my lumps and bumps is clearly a desirable as it means that he will not look longingly at those of a slimmer, smaller disposition whilst simultaneously trying to slip, not Rohypnol but diet pills into my banana and chocolate milkshake. As is a man who has never tried a bigger sized girl but realises, upon further exploration, that he actually enjoyed a supersized, well, everything really.
When does that preference stop being a preference and become some kind of obsession?
Isn’t a man, who seeks out women with that all important “bubbly personality”, the same as a man who seeks out large breasts or a big arse or a woman with piercings or tattoos? And don’t we criticise those men for objectifying women?
When does a preference become a necessity and possibly a perversion?
I wonder if there is something wrong with me for feeling slightly uncomfortable with a man that doesn’t simply appreciate the type of woman that looks like me but makes it his mission to seek out these women. To me, it feels like it is all about the sexual gratification and lust. Which is definitely ok, if that’s all you are both looking for.
But, would that be the correct kind of grounding for strong, long term relationship? What if I suddenly lost a lot of weight? Would result in him no longer being attracted to me?
I have always maintained that while I do want a man to enjoy the way that I look, I would prefer him to be turned on by the wonders of my mind and the open-ness of my heart.
I feel like that kind of attraction is what breeds longer lasting love which goes beyond the outer and creates a bond and connection that becomes much harder to break as a result of the fickle.