I am going through some major changes at the moment.
They cover my life in it's entirety and while I am excited I am also very scared.
It is also turning out to be a solo journey but I am hopeful that at some point I will look back and simply feel that proud sense of achievement.
Self sufficient is something that I have always been but over the years I have learnt, mostly the hard way, how much it alienates. Myself from others and vice versa.
After a while, people start to forget about you and your struggles and just make the assumption that you are alright because, "well, it's Natalie, she's always alright".
This has created a vicious circle where I become much more fierce in my self sufficiency which further pushes people away.
Now this may stem from trust issues, dependency issues or simply my mums habit of doing something yourself if you want it done right.
Well people, I am tired.
I don't want to be, as my grandma so harshly put it "one of those career women" as I am a woman, with all of the natural, normal womanly needs.
Having a conversation with a male friend of mine the other day and one of the things we discussed was how difficult us as both men and woman find admitting that we were designed to be part of a 2 person team, a partnership, a unit.
God created men to be the Boss and for us as women to be his Assistant.
Executive Assistant, I might add.
When you look at that in the business terms, the Boss cannot function without his Assistant and the Assistant has no job without their Boss.
Right.... I have absolutely no idea where I was heading with this, but as the little caption under my blog title clearly states, these are my random ramblings...
I have a few things that I am working on in 2011. One of which is my long suffering, on off relationship with my book... yeah, the one that started as one and has now become 3...
Lets see how it all pans out and hopefully, I will stop, breathe and ask for the help that we all sometimes need in life.