Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Open me up why don't you.
Turn me inside out so that you can poke unwashed fingertips at the parts of me you seek to understand.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Thursday, May 26, 2011


No prizes for guessing the nationality of the owner...

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Mixed emotions.

She was small enough for him to carry.
I had never experienced that and knew that I never would.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Monday, May 23, 2011

Simple math

Boys + Bumper cars = Bruising.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Toilet talk #1

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Why are you here?

You ever have one of those mornings where you wake up and feel unfulfilled?

I don’t if I am having a ‘moment’ because of my impending birthday or whether I am truly changing again as a person but I am unfulfilled.

Right now, there are so many holes in my life that the light is flooding in preventing me from sleeping.
I want to be happy with my lot and, to be honest, most days I am, but there are also these kinds of days.
The kinds of days where I am questioning everything and every one that is present in my life.

When I have these kinds of days I tend to pull back from everyone as I have a tendency to ask questions and make statements that hurt feelings and potentially do damage.
I have learnt that people don’t tend to like it when you say something that results in them having to examine themselves and for the most part, rather than learn from the experience (as I always try to) a lot of people will just allow a wall to be built as they “feel bad” and .

So, I will ask in a general sense.

Why are you in my life?
What is it that you take from me and what do you leave behind in return?
When you examine these reasons do you feel content or ashamed?

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Leather bound.

He allows my insecurities to mark his skin.
Never reacting in a way that makes me ashamed.
If I am unhinged he holds me, protectively whilst my eccentricities flood our space.
I can share knee jerk reactions and he never looks at me oddly.
No matter how fiercely we may fight, he never holds onto the echos.
Damage is always repairable and if it isn't he will simply adjust and move forward.
He doesn't judge me.
But that is because he knows me better than anyone.
My journal knows me the best.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...


Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Saturday, May 21, 2011


So many things bubbling around.
Excitement meets apprehension as I am enter yet another new phase of my life.
I am seeing and feelings things differently.
Almost as though I'm learning all over again. Maybe adding layers but possibly shedding them.
I am still unsure.
Uncertainty is prevalent as my eyes flick flicker over
The kisses and kicks.
Each one play a role that's specific.
My senses flare in gratitude.
Thank you.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Just over 2 years of silence.
2 years interrupted by the vibrations and bells of an incoming email.
I remember the last time contact was made.
I referenced the sarcastic pride your mother would feel at how you spat all over my family and grandfather.
Poking at the pain of his passing with wide eyed hunger.
You scarred my skin with taunts of "fat" and "ugly"
Laughing callously.
Now you beg for forgiveness?
Attempting to send your heart through yahoo.
Wondering if I still think of you.
Whether the memories once created were enough to keep a small tea light floating brightly in the lilly pond of my soul.
In this instant.
I struggle to remember anything past the threats of violence.
The mental and emotional abuse.
Your issues being branded all over me.
You tried to break me and in truth you almost succeeded.
I thank God that a better example carried my burdens for a while.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...


I will never completely believe that I am deserving and as a result of this
I may anger and frustrate you.
I may push you to your limits.
I may create ripples of fire to course through your usually calm waters.
That you will still want to look me in the eyes is all I can hope for.
Right there, in the centre of that mysterious darkness
You will see that I am truly humbled and infinitely appreciative
And you will understand that I am trying, that I am learning and that I am willing

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Touch me.
I guarantee that the stories your fingertips read will be the kind you want to revisit over and over again.
They will be the kinds of tales you will want to retell.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Friday, May 6, 2011

Sceptically me.

Sometimes I wonder whether a piece of you has climbed inside my mind.
It is both scary and exciting.
I struggle to figure out whether this is a sign of something more ultimately pulling back because of the fear of misunderstanding.
Are we really THAT connected?
She said that I underestimate just how much of you is mine.
I am still uncertain.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I am torn.
Torn between the saying and the doing as they no longer walk in harmony.
Icicles are beginning to populate the space underneath my left breast.
The roller coaster that never seems to rest.
Confusion infects.
Wishing I had the answers and that they only played on level ground always within reach and visible instead of playing 'hide and seek' in a forrest perched haphazardly two thirds up a lonely mountain.
Like a child lost in its own make believe.
I want to point my finger and blame you because, after all
You said You did You asked
But I no longer have the energy.
My insecurities have silenced me.
I sit crossed legged at this crossed road crossing my fingers as I ponder my next move.
Wondering whether deep down, in the depths of everything that you are, it would even make a difference whether I went left or right.
Am I fighting for a worthy and noble cause or am I simply punching a gossamer sack only half filled with the illusions of war.
Reflections of grandeur.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Itch = Scratch

It itches so we scratch it
Breathing deep and closing eyes as the action results in a strange relief
Ignoring the knowing that once we stop scratching the likelihood of the itch returning will be multiplied.
As if on a schedule...
Our old friend is back
So we scratch again.
Turning our eyes away from reddening skin
Rationalising the long term damage we will no doubt make.
And when we've finally exhausted the option and have ruined ourselves permanently we cast a regretful eye fully knowing we would repeat the action without remorse

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...