Thursday, September 8, 2011

Dream On...

As of late I have had more than a couple of men quizz me on my thoughts regarding the whole "sex on a first date” thing.

Now they haven't come out and blatantly asked me if I would have sex with them but are clearly trying to gauge whether or not this is something that I have and/or will do.

Fair dues to them for trying, but the response is always the same.
Never have, never will.

It would appear that one of the guys in question didn’t seem to believe that a date was actually a date unless it began or ended in sex while the other believed that I should try it as it may very well blow my mind (no doubt he was trying to subliminally sell himself to me).
Cue ‘Family Fortunes’ incorrect suggestion sound…you know the one that I’m talking about.

While I enjoy sex, very very much I feel absolutely no need to jump in to it with any/every guy who I am willing to spend a little time with.
In fact, in the early stages of hanging out with someone, my only goal is to figure out which box they will be placed in, whether they are compatible with me, whether they are actually sexy to me.

For the most part, I will talk about sex very honestly and openly because it is a bloody interesting topic where no two experiences are the same (even if those 2 experiences were one and the same event) but this does not mean that I am trying to play a game of verbal foreplay with you, we are simply discussing, reasoning, chatting. It also does not mean that you should then take this as your cue to try and force me to imagine your wee place coming anywhere near mine.

When it comes to dating, sex has a way of clouding things in this lovely sparkly mist that actually prevents you from properly getting to know that person because, like any fun filled addiction, it becomes the default for any indoor (and possibly outdoor) meetings. Of course bad sex does the opposite, and can end what could have been special had you taken the time to actually learn that person a little more and figured out how you are able to be compatible.

The thought of Sex on a first date has rarely if ever crossed my mind because, while once switched on that particular part of me is damn near impossible to switch off, I am not led by it, it isn’t my priority.
NB – Just because I am attracted to you physically doesn’t mean that you can “get me there”. It reaches further than that. A lot further.
Constantly bringing it up in a bid to convince me that it would be a good idea to get naked with you can actually serve as a turn off.

I have never had bad sex, EVER and I intend to keep it that way.

Conversation, in my opinion is the key to most things, including my chastity belt.

Just sayin’.


SOC said...

just saying? hmmm you drop the bombs then run for cover by saying you're "just" saying? i wonder if the guys this applies to will read this? it's a shame if they don't

Zayna Daze said...

I promised myself I would comment on this post. Its been over a month, I guess i'm ready now. I'll keep it simple. I'm not looking for a 'relationship' I'm (not yet but will be soon) looking for a husband. Thus i've made a conscious decision to confine sex to marriage only. Call it celibacy if you may but I see it as my way of life. I view sex as a sacred gift, something not to be messed with, I equate sex with higher power and knowledge. Maybe it's the pride in me but it's not in my nature to share my energy with passer by's or fleeting interests. I desire life-term commitment. My philosophy: Sex is knowledge, Marriage is Wisdom.