Deeper surface

I sit on eggshells and will them to not break down any further
I've grown tired of the stinging sharpness that my body has been subject to
Made up mind says that my time to endure is drawing to a close
Eyes automatically close in silent prayer as I sincerely prepare myself to leave this resting place
Needing to force my fear into submission because my protective brain reminds me that in order to raise up I must first push down
This will automatically cause deeper cuts and more long lasting scars but once I am up and have removed the broken shards the wounds should start to heal and the continual pain will be no more
This of course will be the wishful thinking type of possibility
Because in reality, the cuts may become infected and the scars will serve a painful reminder every single time my fingers brush over them
Stinging as if they had just been made
My hope?
My hope is that I will be lifted off of this broken bed
So that instead of scars I am left only with scratches that will in time disappear completely