Fearful that venom will become tangible.
Or that emotion will become disposable.
Scared that I will have my Slim Shady moment and say things that only last for the length of time that they take to spell out but that the sting will last much longer than I can bare.
Too scared to write these days.
Ashamed at the way my own words now make me feel.
The pink mist hitting the air as life leaves my lungs and heart.
Constantly reminding myself to be extra careful as these words fight without ceasing.
Attempting to escape the cold stone walls of their prison.
Like Toussaint's Maroons they are seeking freedom without the knowledge that once they are loosed from bondage they will be forever damaged.
Marked and scarred with memories and stigma.
Too scared to write these days.
Because silence and rejection take away a piece of me each and every time that they are hurled.
Too scared to write because love isn't what it should be and desires are a stupid frivolity.
Too scared to write because my feelings chain you in awkwardness and fear of time stolen.
Too scared to write because my audience is no longr paying attention.
2 comments:
I feel the exact same way Nat, however I'm committed to tackling this fear. Read this: http://bit.ly/r6J6Go
I do not think there is any venom of your own in you. You are not a venomous person. I guess the venom that may be there came from other poisonous people and needs to come out. Just aim straight and hit the right target. Widen your audience.
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