Lone Living Epiphany 3

Sometimes...
It gets very lonely.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Lessons?

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Lone Living Epiphany 2

No one will judge you when you're too tired to cream your skin after having a bath.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Ouch.

My lower back hurts.
Still!
Word of advice...
Never EVER listen to boys when they try to tell you that spinning around whilst Ice Skating is a good idea.
It really isn't and will always end badly.
KMT.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Seconds...

An unintentional flinch and my eyes flicker with recognition.
You see, even though I know that it is something you would never ever do.
He did
And so when you raised the book in jest memories clouded my judgement just for a second.
Strange that the fear came flooding back as my senses became overloaded with flashes of the way it would have played out.
Were it him.
I fought to keep smiling for you but it was hard.
I wonder whether you noticed.
Wonder whether you saw the grey cloud, cloud the smile in my eyes, whether you saw my throat heave as I fought not to cry because there really was no reason to feel that way.
My guard faltered and the years of first hiding the marks and then hiding the broken part of my heart and then the attempts at erasing the past and making a fresh start became blurred and strange.
Please, don't be offended, I know that you would never raise a book or fist in anger...
And I hope that this will be taken for what it is and not result in you "being mindful"
My past just infected my future for that small amount of time that it took to swallow it back.
And I did swallow it back.
I am in a very vulnerable place right now.
Tired.
Hurt.
Emotional.
Confused.
So please, understand that it isn't you.
You see, I know that it is something you would never ever do.


Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Life...

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Tomorrow?

I heard that you're settled down,
That you found a girl and you're married now,
I heard that your dreams came true,
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you,
Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days,

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nothing compares,
No worries or cares,
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made,
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead.

Adele - Someone Like You

Once upon a time.

I quit.
The end.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Red.

Heart and body ache.
Both wanting to be touched.
Intimacy lost.
I don't mean to but I mark the days.
Permanent marker darkens the calendar that sits in my minds eye.
Counting quietly.
Goodbye whispers.
Untold stories of secrets.
I ache red.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Cupcakes and Spiderwebs.

Though she remains silent she knows.
The fickle light shining on grey mornings that mist over with illusions of apparent commitment.
The cake that was eaten repeatedly miraculously regenerates.
Sometimes taking on different flavours, sizes and textures.
She cannot compete with this and as the sparkle of defiance glints dangerously in her eyes she decides that she will not.
Something was always missing from her ingredients when it came to what he preferred his deserts to taste of and she spent the years searching a fruitless search for this unobtainable, almost impossible flavouring.
Worms. That what the elder folk referred to it as.
This unexplainable hunger that can never fulfilled.
The carrier always searching, always feasting, always casting wandering eyes over the type that she isn't/wasn't/never will be.
At night she cried.
Silent sobs shook her body for she was broken.
Seeking desperately for a means to locate all of the missing pieces and put herself back together.
She had found all but one of them.
The most precious.
She wondered what he was doing with it, uncertain of its safety.
Her mind ticked over thoughts of where it was placed.
At the bottom of some forgotten, dusty, spider web infested draw or whether it took pride of place in his glass cabinet.
In truth she was scared of the answer.

Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...