Goodbye?

She sits on the edge of her bed waiting for the bath to finish filling
Sighs deeply, falls back haphazardly and stares blankly up at the ceiling
Through with feeling

"Done with it
A bad decision
A hopeless situation made even more so
Frustration has put blinkers on my confusion
Only now I feel more certain
This is something I have to do"

Thoughts course through her veins as hotly as her blood
Slowly she gets up
Smiles to herself as she takes one last drink from her cup
She hums
No tears

"I should call
Give it one last chance
Maybe I'm taking the wrong stance
My decisions too harsh
What if he does feel love?
No, no, he has already shown me
otherwise
Didn't stop and think when he saw tears well up in my eyes
Laughed when I cried
He's right
I am weak and useless
Can't get anything right, well, I won't wear that badge after tonight"

As she climbs into her bath she wonders how long the pain might last.
Slowly easing herself to sitting position.
More settled within her decision
She picks up her razor
Focus' on her plan
And as carefully as she can
Slowly makes a deep groove just above the underside of each of her hands

"Apparently the hot water makes it easy and quick
Warms everything up so that the blood isn't so thick.
Hopefully it does the trick..."

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