Reflective

Heard twice in as many days
Different people, different stories, different levels of understanding
Something about my character resulted in you not wanting to stay
Things I once thought were a positive are now spun on their head and I'm struggling to push the feeling of regret back down to the lonely pit that has kept it a much needed prisoner...
Maybe they are right...
After all I am the common denominator


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A thought

Night after night I come out and support
Sitting, standing, cheering, clapping
Hugs, kisses and words of appreciation shower my being as you thank me for coming
My bank balance depletes but you are pleased to see me
So it's all good… isn't it?
This is about one hand feeding the other?
About us all coming together
Creating a movement?
A force to be reckoned with
But
Why is it when the tables are turned and I take the stage you are absent?
I mean, how can you know whether I am a talented Poet or an accomplished singer when you are never present?
I look out into the crowd and your face doesn't make up the sea of people there to support me
Maybe I was wrong?
Sometimes I'll ask you where you were just to feel your response
I guess I derive some kind of sordid pleasure from watching you understand that you became selfish
And also, if I'm thinking it, I'd rather say it so that I'm not harbouring it
So focused on your own success that you forgot that it is people like me that fill the seats and purchase your books or CD's, your customised badges and Tee's

I do it for the love, because I believe in what we are trying to do here… Would just be nice to see you when I'm up there…

Thank You
Natalie


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He says

You think I don't feel lousy enough?
Think I don't feel frustration and despair at the fact that I can't be the man you see in me, the man you need me to be?
Do you really think I want you to leave?
All my life I have been disappointed and left behind
Affection and Love weren't so easy to find
Of course something is different this time
Deep down inside
But you aren't seeing it because frustratingly I have difficulties showing
You aren't feeling it because I have issues opening up and giving it
Something is keeping me away from you
My past experiences force me to find fault in most of what you do
I can't let go of the arguments as they lay on my chest
Causing extra weight and prolonged stress
I keep getting it wrong when I think I'm doing what's best...

I Love you


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Reflection

I Love You and I know that you will always have the piece of my heart that you've been holding onto for all this time.
I can't be sure what you will do with it but I'm no longer scared or worried.
I gave it because I wanted to.
You took it because you wanted to.
I understand that sometimes we change our minds about what we want to keep.
Still.
I Love You


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I waited for you to come
Years merged into each other and still
Nothing
Drink filled frivolities took precedence
Messages to the less important were present
But for me? Still silence
Now I understand
Because I was already surrounded by all of those that truly loved me
Even though they take a lot from me
They were there and not elsewhere
I will remember that always
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