And...

... I did it again.
Ruined something for you.
My focus is on the positive but I have left you with the negative.
Dropping my pain at the door but somehow I have forced yours to remain in your backpack.
Blurring sharply coloured images until they are little more than browny-grey smudges.
No wonder things are as they are.


Natalie Fiawoo ® Blogging on the go...

Naked.

Lie naked with me.
Allow my full breasts to rest upon the expanse of your strong chest as your hands rest protectively on the base of my spine.
Legs intertwined allowing parts of me to touch the parts of you that your pulse is the strongest.
Fingertips gently tapping out promises.
Wait silently for my heartbeat to fall in perfect time with yours, reverberating easily through rib cages and skin.
Body heat and soft bodies heat the surrounding atmosphere as we just lie here.
Sexual but not.
Connected and hot.
No barriers or walls.
Nothing guarding our hearts at all.
Breathe deep with me
Naked in our vulnerability.
Just you and me.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Reflection...

Bitter sweet.

I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance, you won't be leaving with me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two...
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: I love you
I can see it in your eyes, that you despise the same old lies you heard the night before
And though it's just a line to you, for me it's true it never seemed so right before
I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you
The time is right your cologne fills my head, the stars get red and oh the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all, by saying something stupid
Like: I love you
I love you
I love you


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Retrospect

I should've just said that it was too cold...


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

New Blog... Coming soon.

'Too Fat For Wellies'. My new blog, coming soon...


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Brand.

We fought.
Or rather you fought.
Fought with such ferocity that you spat contempt at me.
Showed a side I had not seen.
You fought for her.
Burned me with your brand because this one, well she was worth scarring me for.
The journey you had shared made her presence a necessity.
Apparently.
Regardless of the damage she'd previously inflicted upon you so carelessly.
I bled quietly.
When the time came for you to fight for me.
You sat quietly.
Looked on as bruise after well placed bruise marked my already swollen skin.
Barely even making eye contact.
Fairy tale not for the faint hearted.


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Moonlit contemplations.

Last night.
As I completed one task that I had set for myself I knew it was just the beginning.
Satisfied and at the same time overwhelmed.
A slight sadness created a mist over my heart as I knew there were more changes to come.


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Who...

... will understand the stories and symphonies set within your heartbeat now?


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Switch.

You switch her off so easily that it's a wonder her heart still beats.
Your terms and conditions have bound her in chains that she fights to break but with each new struggle the cold steel cuts deeper.
Drawing blood in places she never dreamed possible.
You switch her off so easily that she ponders how long it will take for you to forget her.
Not long she bets.
A simple adjustment of power source.
Change in circuitry.
New focus.
Energy drawn from someone/where else and she becomes a figment of her own imagination.


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

"You're my weakness and my strength"


S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Circle

As much as I say a response isn't necessary I still find myself refreshing emails and rechecking text messages wondering whether I had missed anything.
Seeking understanding.
Connection.
Reaffirmation.
A change of direction.
And each time I adjust myself to the notion that I will hear nothing a new message materialises.
For the most part it pleases but when the flow once again ceases I am left stranded at sea.
Searching for a lifeboat.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Secret Harbour.

Trace butterflies of love down the middle of my back with your soft lips.
Drink me in with deep slow sips and imprint desire with fingertips.
Tell stories of journeys already taken and predict those to come.
Blur mysteries into the rising or the setting of the sun as both become merged into a single day dream.
Sprinkle magic into each welcoming wrinkle, creating shapes of ecstasy.
Smile. Laugh. Moan. Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe breathless mutterings of quiet imaginings.
Reading me perfectly. Easily. Speaking the same language as my arching back.
Quickly conversing with my snake like motions.
Encouraging my body to dance to the pounding, relentless rhythm of your drum.
Teach me the kinds of lessons that will remain with me well into my old age.
Darkness subtitled.
Envision in braille.
See only me on a background of pure light.
Smile. Laugh. Moan. Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe breathless mutterings of quiet imaginings.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Happy Birthday xx

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

The next stage

Hi all,

So, as I am taking a loooooong, until further notice, break from performing it looks like I will be able to start filling my blog space a little more with gems of randomess for your pleasure? Gossip sessions? Night time writing fixes? Warped obssessed dislike? You get the picture.

I know that those that visit here, visit for different reasons and it seems as though more people read than comment, which is also fine, though feed back is always a good place to grow, learn and discuss.

Even though, to some, a poetry gig doesn't seem like much the whole process of writing new stuff, learning said new stuff, putting together sets and then spending hrs of the week at events can take a big chunk of my time and it means that the other things I am so desperately trying to complete seem to fall to the way side.

I am looking forward to the new freedom I will be afforded and I hope that you will Love me or Hate me as a result of anything that you read here.

Natxxx

Moths and Candy Floss

My fingertips become an hourglass as sand and time slip through easily.
I am just disappointed.
Spent and frustrated.
Head throbs constantly and black outs threaten me.
Dangling their dangerous carrot
Tempting me to lose sleep.
To not eat.
This amalgamation of Moths and Candy Floss invade my stomach.
The slow nicotine shadow of disconnection and resentment attempting to fill my lungs, quietly trying to pollute my blood stream.
I hold my breath but am unsure why.
Why do I fight the inevitable?
Why do I refuse to give up?
I saw a new side of you.
The side that had me running in an attempt to catch up.
The side that ignored and embarrassed me in front of those that already seek weakness in me.
You had “Fuck you” written all over your dilated pupils and each time I tried to talk to you I had to read those words over and over again.
You speak of the side of others that you refuse to put up with without realising that you have displayed the same to me.
Spreading gold, blue and green feathers and parading around in affirmation.
But I remain silent.
That place in me that forces me to speak has become stuck.
Hard lessons to learn.
Difficult actions to swallow.
Life moves easily for you as you have forced your skin to be thicker than mine.
So, tomorrow, when you are unable to find me.
You will not look for me but rather accept that I am gone and move on.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

One stop before ours.

Today.
I snapped at you.
It was unintentional.
An amalgamation of frustration and tense emotions forced my hand and I did not play my cards very well.
And now... As tear ducts swell and I struggle not allow them their freedom on this northern line journey.
I wonder.
How did we get here.
I'm truly, deeply, sincerely.
Sorry.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...

Belief...

Time turns quickly and every time it ticks over my heart beats that little bit stronger.
Can you feel it?
It sits closer to yours than you will allow yourself to admit, closer than you will accept but its there none the less.
Beating... Bleeding... Needing... Releasing...
Finding a comparable rhythm and sticking to it.
Feeling... Seeking... Believing.

S.O.A.P® Blogging on the go...